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How Your Self Esteem Affects You

Often self esteem is discussed within the context of a teenager or a child, but it can affect you as an adult and can even define your business success.

Children and teenager’s are often forgiven for their poor self esteem and its resultant problems.  On the other hand with adults that forgiveness is not always as forthcoming because people think that you should “know better”.

Self esteem issues often revolve around the person trying to overcompensate for his/her perceived failings. They become obsessed with the notion people will look down on them unless they achieve or excel.  Whilst drive and motivation are good things because they prompt us to stretch beyond our capabilities, however in excess it works against you.  Yes you really can get too much of a good thing.

For example, low self esteem issues can lead someone to swing to the extreme and become a workaholic.  You might draw a sense of accomplishment through the time invested in work  but what have you sacrificed in the process? At what price does this come?  Time with family and friends, lost opportunities to strengthen bonds and create special memories.  Business success is meant to give you a lifestyle, without a good work / life balance there is no point in being in business.

Another symptom of someone with self esteem issues is being argumentative, narcissistic or developing the “know it all” attitude. These business people find it hard to respect customers or team members, and their ventures usually fail. When you see it in an employee, low self-esteem leads to low confidence, poor productivity, and no job satisfaction. Fortunately, both can be fixed.

    1. Identify the qualities and skills linked to your idea of success. Your self-esteem is linked to the sense of competence in the areas that are important to you. As you look at your business goals, make sure you are following your own definition of success. These are the ones that gives you pride and passion in their pursuit.
    2. Identify your strengths and establish plans for improving. Once you have clarified your personal definition of success, examine where you currently are relative to where you want to be. Whatever your goals, there are few things better at improving your self esteem than knowing you’re making progress toward your success.
    3. Put any weaknesses you may deem to have into perspective.  So what if you think your maths suck, when do you really need that skill and after all that’s what calculators were invented for. If you can’t or don’t want to do something, find someone to delegate the task to or outsource it. There is always an alternative.
    4. Modify the way you speak to yourself. Continual negative self talk will make you depressed and ensure that your self esteem remains low. Your subconscious doesn’t understand negative words so rephrase negative words and the subconscious will create positive responses. Instead of saying ‘this is difficult’ say ‘this is not yet easy’ and before long it will be easy.
    5. Be grateful for what you already have. Most people concentrate on the negatives in their lives or on the things they wish they had. Creating a daily gratitude journal we begin to flip your mind around and you’ll start to see the positives and before too long you won’t notice the negatives.
    6. Don’t worry unduly about unlikely events. Most people worry about what might go wrong, when in reality they know exactly what they would do to correct it in the unlikely event it did occur. Once you realise that you already have the answers you don’t need to concentrate on anything that is unlikely to happen.
    7. Lookout for new opportunities to grow your talents and experiences. Part of our sense of self-worth comes from the belief and confidence that we have the ability to grow the business both today and in the future. As you learn and master new skills and enjoy new experiences your comfort zone will increase along with your self esteem.

Clear out the negative thinking patterns and replace them with constructive positive thoughts and each time you find yourself reverting back to negative habits, immediately disrupt the old train of thinking and fill it with something positive. If someone else delight in putting you down, tell them they are being offensive, change your job, you don’t have to put up with it. After all you are better than that.